This has been a season in my life where I have had to learn how to treat myself/ date myself the way I would want to be treated/dated. Like Iyanla Vanzant always says –“Child you have to do your own work!” I am doing my work, and enjoying the process.
After coming out of a relationship that I thought would be my last, it is hard to face the fact that I have to start from square one. But, the great part about it is that I now know what it is I need to do to get in that space where I am open to receiving the type of love I want and deserve.
First, I have to deal with my own insecurities. I had to have that ugly cry, ask God why a couple of times, and then begin to pay attention to the messages He was delivering to me that I wasn’t paying attention to, and begin to live life the way it was meant to be.
I realized that I couldn’t force what I knew He had for me, and I couldn’t go looking for it either. I had to get busy in the fields like Ruth. I had to live life… I had to be Kyla and be comfortable being Kyla… by herself in her own lane… doing what I love to do. So, I decided that I was going to go the Charleston for a solo trip and do whatever it is I wanted to do –shop, eat, job, take pictures, or just plan sleep in! I thought it would be a little awkward, but it turned out to be an amazing time!
The Perfect Place
Charleston is a familiar place for me. I used to go there when I was a child growing up in Atlanta, but never as an adult. It’s a laid back town with great food, culture, and shopping. A great place to have my first solo trip.
The Perfect Hotel
I knew I had to stay somewhere that spoke to my soul, and I booked an amazing room that was just perfect for me… Kings Courtyard Inn, a historical hotel, located right on the strip with all the action and shopping. It has so much personality and it just made me light up a little on the inside. It was the perfect for an “Eat, Pray, Love” kind of adventure — free breakfast in bed, garden seating areas, and peace.
The Perfect Outing
I was there for two days and one night, and I made sure to make the most of it. I indulged in ice cream on a stroll through the city, visited the local shops, went for a nightly jog, and caught a carriage ride around the town.
How to Date Yourself
I have learned a few things through this experience.
- Pick a place that you know you would really enjoy. Be honest with yourself about what you like — If you like history go somewhere historical, if the spa is your thing go somewhere peaceful, etc.
- Keep an open mind! Traveling by yourself is a little different then traveling with others, but it’s not bad. Once you realize no one knows you are by yourself, you will be just fine.
- Try Something New. It could be a new restaurant or an activity. For the first time, I jogged while on vacation at sunset. It was so peaceful, and I am happy that I was able to have that moment with myself.
- Stay Safe. Let someone you care about know where you are going especially if you are a female. I did my FaceTime check-ins with my family (mainly to show them what they were missing).
- Take Lots of Pictures. You are going to want to remember this journey. Get a selfie stick or ask someone to snap a quick pic of you along the way. Safety is always key! I would usually ask a couple or two ladies trying to take pictures if they would like a picture together and most times they are happy to return the favor.
- Work Your Way Up to a Trip. If going on a solo trip still sounds a little difficult, try taking yourself out for a day, a quick movie, or spa visit first. Get use to you in your current surroundings first and ease into a trip. There is nothing wrong with taking baby steps.