5 Things My 5 Year Old Taught Me

Mom Life Quotes for Moms on a soft Parenting journey

It’s official… We have a 5-year-old! Klay turned five after a full week of Kindergarten as a 4-year-old, and I must say I am so proud to be his mom! But, Lord knows, this motherhood journey is like a roller coaster. It is truly a seesaw between making time to be my best self and showing up as the best version of myself for him. It is a journey full of mommy guilt and constant second-guessing. In honor of Klay’s birthday, here are a few mom life quotes that get me through.

Motherhood Lessons

I felt like the first couple of years of his life were all about keeping him healthy and happy, and all we needed was the good ol’ breast milk, sleep, and a dry diaper… He was so easy! But as he got older, I started to see him become a reflection of me. His mannerism, how he greeted other people, his word choices… That little boy was my mini-me!

The Klay 5-Year Update

For those just here for Klay, I got you! He is such a joy-filled and fearless little boy now. He truly doesn’t back down from a challenge and loves a good adventure. After passing the Maryland early admissions exam, he is in kindergarten.

And, I now see how people’s lives become all about their children. Because, I am always on a mission to “keep him busy” and keep him excited about learning.

The munch is never short of words, loves to spark conversation, and connecting with other people is his jam. I soon realized that keeping him happy and healthy during this part of our life meant protecting his fearless spirit, giving him some healthy bumper rails, and not letting his Black-Boy joy die.

The Question “Why”

One thing I didn’t realize is the amount of self-healing I had to do on my personal journey to give him his health bumper rails. And every time he asked me, “But, why Mommy?” I found myself feeling like I was in a counseling session! I didn’t want to give him the well-known Black-Momma answer, “Because I said so!” However, curating a soft-parenting life response to some real work.

Everyday, I found myself learning something new… About myself. I found myself do some real work and breaking down my own “whys” in my life.

Why can’t I just do it?!?

Life was starting to get really interesting! The boundaries I developed throughout my life started to change. I mean, how can I raise a fearlessly, loving Black Boy if I didn’t become that myself? Maybe it is a millennial mom thing…But, I have found myself learning so much of this motherhood journey I don’t take it lightly.

Lesson 1: He is What He Sees

Being a mom with Endometriosis can be challenging at times. You know the importance of nurturing yourself and your child. But when choosing between what comes first, you often don’t see the compounded effects of self-care until later. It is so important to establish so type of village in your life as mom to give you the time for self-care, because you will look up at year 5 and see you let yourself go.

Lesson 2: Take Care of You First

I found myself so enthralled in my motherhood journey that I forgot about my need to workout, unwind, journal, spend time with girlfriends, etc. I felt the effects mentally and physically, and I had to regain myself again. And, let’s be clear: quarantine did not help! It was all about keeping the little safe. After two years of that, it’s time for all moms to get back a sense of self.

Lesson 3: You Can Create New Boundaries

I think for a long time, past generations saw motherhood as a land of sacrifice. But the truth is, there is no way you can constantly fill your child’s cup up if you don’t fill your cup up first! I’m taking more time for myself, practicing self-care, and letting the mommy guilt slowly die.

We often talk about the different changes a child goes through every 3 months, and those changes are real. And it is equally important to note that as a mom, we are changing with our kids. Our needs are evolving, and there needs to be a constant conversation with your partner and village about what your new needs are, and how they can support you.

Lesson 4 : You Deserve to Be Happy

Your child needs to see you happy! They need an example of what joy looks like. They need to know that dreams can come true, and that you can make every dream of yours a reality. You can’t give up on your personal happiness.

Lesson 5 : Keep Going!

Don’t stop dreaming! Don’t stop going! Take a step every day for you and your dreams, no matter what obstacles you face.

Soft Parenting Isn’t Easy

Motherhood can take a lot of work, but I am determined for it not to take everything out of me. And now that he is older, I realize the best thing I can do is be my whole self for me. It is definitely easier said than done. But if you are on a soft parenting journey like myself, you will find yourself learning for your child to be the best version of themselves, you have to be the best version of yourself.

I hope that this post inspires you on your motherhood journey!

How Stop Period Pain

If you are a fellow endometriosis mom or a spoony mom dealing with menstrual pain, a big part of the motherhood journey is learning to manage your pain so you can show up as your best self. Here are things that have worked for me to stay pain-free: 50 Natural Remedies for Period Cramps.