Navigating Mental Health and Hormone Imbalances: A Personal Journey

Hey, Healthy Fam! Today, I’m sharing a deeply personal journey about navigating mental health and hormone imbalances, enriched with insights from a conversation I had with Iyanla Vanzant.

A Wake-Up Call from Iyanla Vanzant

I had a conversation with Iyanla Vanzant, and she told me I was living a lie. 

It was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. I cried as she spoke life into me. She gave me an assignment to keep a journal and write down every time I was lying to myself. Little did I know, this was the start of a mental healing journey.

Two months prior to that conversation, I was in the hospital, thinking I was having a heartache. Only to be diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. During my follow-up visit, I remember looking at my doctor perplexed as she handed me a prescription for anti-depressants. 

This couldn’t be for me!

I felt like I was doing all the right things to stay healthy. And, I had signs that proved I was on the right path because I was still pain-free with stage IV endometriosis. Little did I know, the mental health journey required more.

It required raw and unfiltered honesty.

Struggling with Balance

Life felt like a juggling act gone wrong. Motherhood overshadowed my needs, and my job devoured my personal time, pushing my desires and passions to the back burner. This chaotic survival mode led to a disappointing realization: I had neglected my well-being, evident in my weight gain, hormonal acne, hair loss, and inflamed skin.

After everything I have been through and accomplished on my health journey with endometriosis, I was disappointed with myself. I couldn’t believe that I allowed my body and mental health to get to that place.

Natural Remedies for Mental Health

I gave myself a few days to waddle in it.  Then, I decided it was time to fix the problem. Me being on my health-ish, I reached for my natural remedies bible to see how to get to the root cause of depression and anxiety. I just knew I would see a list of herbs and vitamins that included St. Johns Wort. And I did. But, the first thing I read simply said, Speak your mind and stop holding in your thoughts.

I felt convicted, and wanted to throw the book across the room after reading it! 

I knew I had to start there.

Simply being honest with yourself and others seemed easy. But, for someone who avoids conflict like the plague, it has been challenging. I always found looking at life through an optimistic lens propelled me into manifesting the life I wanted. No matter what it looked like or what I was going through, I knew I could change the outcome with my words.

Yet, somehow, I had to find a way to stop biting my tongue in the process.

The Weight of Mommy Guilt

Adulthood, particularly motherhood, complicated my mental landscape.

Because, if I am being completely honest, I have been struggling mentally from the day Klay came into this world. Like most moms, I am always thinking about all the things concerning my child, from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. And no one ever talks about the “mommy guilt” when your child gets sick or you have to choose between showing up for one of your child’s events or a work event.

And, the way the cold and flu season has revolved after the pandemic, is different! I remember the last time I took Klay to the doctor, just a week after 2 emergency room visits and another doctor’s appointment, all I wanted to do was break down and cry. What am I doing wrong?!? Only to be told, that this is common during the first year of kindergarten or when a child changes school environments. And being told that, yes, the symptoms for Flu A, Flu B, and strip throat have evolved… We had them all in December and January.

Embracing Self-Care for Mental Sanity

I was mentally spent and experiencing sensory overload with no healthy boundaries. 

And I did what the beautiful Iyanla suggested, I started writing things down. I began journaling my tensions and compromises, confronting the reality of my overstretched boundaries. This self-awareness journey was about reclaiming my space and prioritizing my needs to heal and thrive.

The truth is, I needed to make some changes. And that meant putting my air mask on before I put on anyone else’s.

Speaking Your Truth

I had to have some uncomfortable conversations with myself and those around me. It meant I had to stop calculating the outcome I wanted before speaking my mind. It meant, “I said, what I said” in the words of the good sis, Nene Leakes. 

I had to let go of the fear attached to being seen as a bad mother, push back in hard conversations, and understand that only the great good can come from me speaking my truth… Even if it felt bad in the beginning, I had to trust that my thoughts were worthy in all scenarios of life. And, my truth was leading me to the places I needed to be.

I had to shake the table to make room for that same radical self-care that helped me find relief on my endometriosis journey.  But, this time it was all about self-care for my mental health. 

I knew my hormones also played a role in this mental health journey. So, I reached for my journal, and over the last 3 months, I have been tracking the times that I felt my lowest. Noting all the things that were triggers, including the moments I was lying to myself about to keep things copasetic, and things got interesting…

New Health-ish

Self-Care journey for Mental Health

No matter what kind of health journey I am on, I always circle back to creating a self-care experience for preventive care. 

The following are the things I started doing this quarter to help with my mental health: 

1. Take Daily Inventory:

Every night I try to take the time to sit and take inventory of all areas of my life. This is the time to write down any unresolved issues I need to speak my truth about with myself, others, or my counselor. And either resolving those issues before I go to sleep or making a plan to address them in the near future. 

2. Healthy Boundaries:

I started creating healthier boundaries with everyone in my life. This was the hardest to do with my son. But, now that he is old enough to understand personal space and personal time, surprisingly, he caught on quickly. 

3. Managing Obligations:

I stopped feeling obligated to do and to be to appease others. This included not feeling obligated to answer the phone and turning off notifications for as long as I needed. 

4. Ask For More Help:

Recognizing that I can’t do it all. I had to remind myself daily that it was okay to take my cape off. And this is not just for taking physical tasks off my list, but mental tasks as well. Managing my mental overflow is the goal, and I can’t do it without the help of my tribe.

5. Finding My Joy:

Prioritizing the things that bring me joy and satisfaction. I needed to overflow my cup with people and things that inspired me to be my authentic self. So, I spent a lot of time traveling with my sister and knocking items off the bucket list. Which we can break down in another blog post.

6. Watching What I Eat:

I started to realize that I would grab food like it was a pacifier. Whenever there was something on my mind that I couldn’t find the right way to express, I was reaching for something to eat. I tried to be more mindful of it, and intentionally drink more water. This got me obsessed with water recipes, and I’m not turning back!

7. Take Note:

Journaling and making mental notes of the best times to have difficult conversations based on my menstrual cycle have been key for me.

I have been trying other things for my overall health that seem to help with keeping me balanced mentally, as well as, maintaining a balanced menstrual health journey. That includes bi-weekly acupuncture, Chinese medicine tea, red light therapy, and vitamin C showers.

mental health and hormone imbalance

Managing PPMD Symptoms

I already knew that I was experiencing some level of PPMD. It just seemed like life just got extra hard right before my menstrual cycle. I found myself being more critical of myself during those times. Realizing it was during those times I had to let go of all expectations and focus on how to be there for myself. 

I still feel like I have a lot of work to do to get to where I want to be mentally. But, one thing I know for sure, is speaking my truth is a form of healing. 

I hope this Helps!

I hope this blog post helps you along your journey. Just know that there are different levels to this mental health game. If this is something you are dealing with, please talk to your doctor about it. Depression and anxiety are whole-body illnesses that can be linked to other health issues. This affects 1 in 5 Americans, and it is something you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable sharing with your loved one.

You are not alone. If there is a part of this post that resonates the most, let me know below!